DON'T SELL YOUR PAST FOR LOVE by Counselor Adofoli

One of the deadly mistakes singles make when they start dating is telling the one they are dating all about their past. How well do you know this stranger to warrant them knowing vital information about your life such as your past? In case you've forgotten, you don't know them, that's why you are dating them. Until you are fully convinced they are they right person don't disclose your past to them.

No matter the amount of pressure they put on you, don't give in to that. If they feel okay telling you their past, that's up to them but don't follow suit and don't be forced to do that either.

They were not in your past; whatever happened in the past should be left there, if anyone has to force you to visit the past, it is like bringing old bricks from an old relationship. You might end up building the same old relationship you left. You might end up repeating the same mistakes.

Your current partner is not in your life to inherit your ex, nor to continue from where they left. They are in your life to start a new relationship which should not be built on the past relationship. There is no transition in dating.

Sometimes, people feel it is the right thing to tell your current partner before the past pops up at the wrong time and have the power to collapse the beautiful relationship they are about to start.

If in the condition they found you they don't trust you, like you, believe in you, love you or not willing to stand with you through the good and bad times or build solid foundation with you, then they are not welcome.

I am not teaching you dishonesty; I am not telling you to hide stuff in your relationship. What we are against is the past, something which is dead and gone.

If you are a single mother today let him know, it has nothing to do with the past.  After all, he met you a single mother. If you have a medical condition, let your partner know, that is your present. That is far away from how your ex treated you, the kind of relationship you had, how it ended, the number of sex you had, etc.

Telling them the past is equally selling yourself to them. Your current might not have the qualities you want, they might just listen to your past and start acting like the perfect person. You give them the opportunity to fake it instead of being real.

Some are smart and can play it so well. The very day something goes wrong in the relationship, they reveal their true colours to you that is the very time you become confused. The question many victims ask is "How can someone as loving and caring like you change so suddenly?" Soon they start blaming you for being the reason they changed.

You should always bear in mind that, the one who controls your past has the power to control your future. Selling your past to the wrong person will make them drive you to wrong direction. Allow them get to know you, build a relationship with you based on the present. Such a person has the power to treat you differently from your ex.

In conclusion "Be sensible and don't tell everything you know—only fools spread foolishness everywhere" - Proverbs 12:23 (CEV).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.


Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.

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