They fear leaving, with the reason that they might not feel the same way again for the next person, but silently pray to God to make their partner feel the same for them. Yet an answer for such prayers has no deadline, so they are drowned in tears of sorrow.
They don't mind fighting for this feeling or dying for this person, but one thing they keep denying is "they can't wait forever for these people to return their feeling”.
I was once in the same shoes more than a decade ago. I was my own enemy, my feelings hurt me. I wondered how I could feel so much for someone who doesn’t feel a thing for me or even return a quarter of it, whilst others were dying to have someone like me.
As I think deeply about it, one revelation that crosses my mind is that, no matter how much I felt for her, I could not make her feel the same for me. No matter how hard I tried to express this deep feeling, she had nothing to say. No matter how I went all out loud for her, she didn't even take a step for me. This revelation brought tears into my eyes. You cannot make someone love you no matter how much you love them.
People might have given me countless advice to move on, but I couldn't because I knew the depth of what I felt and it was not easy to let go so I kept telling myself I can't. Then I realized that letting the person go doesn't mean I let go the feelings. The feelings remain with me and as far as I am alive, I will live with those feelings. It was just a matter of finding the right person who can return this feeling, and it won't cost me the pains I feel.
That was when I accepted I was dealing with a wrong candidate. The one I am with was not qualified. I got to understand that I had been very selfish holding on to something which didn’t belong here, and thereby denying myself the opportunity to be with the right person who fits in with me.
I was so shocked at how easily I could let go with smiles on my face. I realized I had been unfair to myself and ended up hurting myself, when all this while I thought someone was hurting me. I didn't feel bad again and I didn't want my then partner as such. It was like off-loading heavy goods off a tinny truck. It was a great sigh of relief.
I also understood that what I needed was a friend, someone who shared the same path with me and same feelings with me. Because of that, I also stopped communicating with my Ex. We didn't share the same path or feelings any longer and had nothing to talk about. If I dared continue communicating with her, I might end up hurting myself.
Today, I am happily married to a true friend who feels the same towards me, who shares a path with me. When we fight, it is hard to let go of each other’s hand. We don't need special titles or have special dates every day. Whether we are seen together always or not, we are always loyal, faithful, honest and committed to each other. We are ourselves.
I hope this small piece of my love life will touch you to let go people who don't share the same feeling or path with you. You don't only let go, but you do that with a smile. Any person you meet who doesn’t feel the same way you do about them or share same path is a stranger, they are not meant to stay in your life, just dine with the stranger but save your feelings for that special person.
In conclusion "We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are chosen to be a part of His plan" - Romans 8:28 (NLV).
Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.
Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.
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