MARRY A PLAYER NOT A SPECTATOR by Counselor Adofoli

People marry dreams and never want to wake up. Whether they like it or not, they do wake up but very disappointed. They conclude they married the wrong person and believe their ideal spouse is out there so once they divorce they will meet him or her. This is a holy caution to all the singles, don't get married to a dream.

What makes you think the person you have not seen before, not had a relationship with, not been married to before is the right kind of person who will make you happy?

You start imagining how great conversations will be with this person you have not yet met, how you will have sexual marathon. Soon you conclude that change is the only best option. You believe changing your partner is the solution. You think you are married the wrong person.

Any man or woman who is happily married is a successful person even if they failed in everything in life. For there are lots of people who are successful at many things but were not successful at marriage despite several attempts. Marriage is work; marriage is not for the lazy. Marriage is for people who are committed.

Young people going into marriage today think marriage is easy, they come into it with such high expectations without knowing marriage really needs effort to accomplish. They are like spectators watching a football match. To them it's easy to score from any angle, it’s easy to escape errors. They expect too much from the players on the field and are always get more disappointed or hurt than the players, when the team loses a match.

They come into the marriage as spectators instead of players, and because they are not involved, they see things differently. They expect their partner to do ABC, and believe when the partner does so, their marriage will be great.

They expect their partner to avoid XYZ and if he or she is able to do that, they won't have issues in their marriage. They are ready to blame and accuse, they don't understand and appreciate the effort of their partner.

These are the same people who easily give up, get hurt and feel like leaving or think they got married to the wrong partner.  A player does not easily get hurt or give up as much as a spectator because players know how much effort they put into the game. It’s their desire to win but sometimes things don't go the way they want.

As disappointed as they become, they watch their previous matches, mistakes, learn from it and prepare for the future. Players in marriage are not dreamers, they are Realizers. They don't act on dreams for they understand games are not won in dreams.

Do more for your marriage instead of expecting so much from. The goal of marriage is not to find a “finished product” in a partner. You are not even “finished” yourself. Marriage is about growing together.

And once you wake up from the dream, once you change your way of thinking you will change your marriage. Your marriage bond is not based on equal qualification, money, age, skill or talent but on equal commitment both to understand each other and be committed each other.

In conclusion "Our purpose is to do what is right, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of others" - 2 Corinthians 8:21 (GNT).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.

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