WHEN WORDS CAN'T EXPLAIN THE PAINS by Counselor Adofoli

Tears are an expression of how the heart feels when your lips can’t describe how much you have been really hurt, while to others suicide is the only way to save the heart from the pains. The sad part is your loved ones feel there is something wrong but can't understand what you are going through, while it is hard for you to explain what you are going through.

Others use silence as the best tool to express their pain while some resort to isolation. You expect people to know what you are going through without talking yet the more you try, the more they ask you questions you don't have answers for.

Funny but the truth is, the very person who puts you through these pains is the one you don't expect this from, the one you think should know better and protect your heart ends up to be the one with the knife tearing your heart apart, your loved.

These recent occurrences of suicide pops lots of questions to me as a counselor. What kind of partners or spouses do people look out for? The answer is a good spouse but how sure are you to meet a good person?

Since you get to know people better at the latter part of a relationship, these people you thought were good turn out to be bad people and this only comes to light at the end of the road of the beautiful dream of the relationship. When expectations are not met, broken heart becomes the result. Smiles turn into tears, love turns into hatred, sweetness turns into bitterness.

So the question is, who should we look out for as a spouse or partner? Don't search for the good in people for the good is often dressed in fake clothes. You should rather look for real, for real is naked and proud no matter the scars. It has nothing to hide. It doesn't pretend, it doesn't impress.

Sometimes it is hard to know the difference between what is good and what is real, because anyone can give you compliments and attention which are some of the basic things we seek in relationship, but the one who is real will give you more than that; they will give you respect, honesty, trust and loyalty.

If you are not married but in a bad relationship, and dealing with someone who is not real, it is time for you to advise yourself. Just because you couldn't find someone who is real doesn't mean you should be with someone who treats you bad. Leave the one causing you the pain, save your beautiful heart for someone who is real.

In conclusion "So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush"- Philippians 1:9-10 (MSG).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselor and Motivator.

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